i’ve realized what i really want to do over the summer: make music. first time i really jammed with other people.. and it was raw, intense, and funky stuff. its the greatest drug of all time, live music.. especially when its coming from you!

have you ever had one of those perpetual headaches? the ones which don’t manifest themselves physically, but the ones that are just there… and those are the ones that are the most annoying.. and confusing. but we gotta put up with it i guess. its those times when you try to convince yourself that you don’t care, but you still do, somewhere inside of you. sometimes i wish i can just shut off some parts of me that give me a hard time, but why bother.. you are who you are. :)

i don’t know why i’ve never heard of this before, but its one of the greatest truths there is.. “everything is always, and never the same.” good call, alana :)

i am sitting on the living room couch, listening to air’s playground love.. while trying to make sense of this mergers model in front of me. i’m about to finish the standalone valuation, i just need to setup the market value of each firm’s current debt. and then i’m probably a third of the way done in completing the model, which we need to write a 15 pager on. yay… i’m hungry!

a night of good open mic performances, and two bowls of nick’s fried rice. what can go wrong? oh, i have an IS midterm tomorrow.. that i haven’t studied for. and its 3am. oh boo.

when you’re tired from washing the dishes after a cook-fest with your hawaiian suitemates at 5am, after going out to watch a blues band in santa monica, when your two best friends are bickering and engaging in a petty fight, that’s when you know that the night was an interesting one. i don’t know about that last one though. but the rest is peachy keen! chalk one up for fun times! :)

breaded mozzarella sticks from the lair taste like molten plastic.

and i am terribly in love with my neighbor’s martin.

there is an imminent need to catch up to the big projects at hand.. the one that casts the biggest shadow is the mergers project. ahh. sometimes i wonder why i’m a finance major. and today i was stuck in the “advanced information technology” lab cos this cute MBA student was looking for a pencil for her test, and of course being the idiot that i am let her borrow it, and she didnt return till 2 hours afterwards i was done with my assignment.. which was also quite harrowing, i had no idea why i was doing an information systems emphasis on top of finance, at that moment.

and in a month, i’m out of loyola forever. how good does that sound? how bad does that sound? what DO i hear?

alana and i watched open mic tonight, where to our horror, the girl sitting in front of us had half of the entire length of her butt crack exposed. they said SARS was contagious, but dude, that was a health hazard if i’ve ever seen one. of course she decided to go commando in her jeans – there was just no way that any form of underwear would slip lower, with the sheer amount of buttcrack we saw. and why did alana have to bring up the image of that old lady in puerto vallarta who had ass hair? which was so long, i would actually have paid one of those peddlers to braid her ass hair for her. not to be mean or anything.. it was just an extremely odd image. weird situations call for weird comments i guess. i just hope it doesn’t happen to me. *cross fingers*

had an interesting conversation with alana. i feel that she’s somewhat of a real psychologist, and its beginning to really interest me how they think. of course the schmuck thinks i’m not strong enough to deal with whatever she thinks of me, and basically told me to figure out my life myself. well, where’s the fun in that?? although there must be some fun in trying to nitpick your brain and ego yourself, but i think that marks the onset of going crazy. and for some reason, talking about myself makes me feel selfish in a weird way anyway. maybe she was right, why do i even bother? agh.

very interesting weekend, it was ellen’s birthday on thursday and hung out with a few deutscheland kids at harry o’s. on friday was the theta formal with breanne, that was interesting as well. i had fun, i’ve never been on a formal and it was an experience. actually i was glad i was with bri, cos its not awkward to go with her and its all fun :) funny thing was that it was on fantasea one, the same boat that my sister had her reception at for her wedding.

today, i finally made it to amoeba records with alana, deidra and becky, and hoarded a few CDs. i got the CDs that i should’ve gotten a long time ago: smashing pumpkins – pisces iscariot, the singles soundtrack, ben harper – fight for your mind, kula shaker – peasants pigs and astronauts, and gomez – in our gun. the whole weekend i’ve been listening to a lot of smashing pumpkins, i just think billy makes simplyamazing music, in the most fundamental and artistic sense of the term.

well, now with this damn daylight savings crap, its now close to 4am. will i ever get to bed early and wakeup early like normal people do? but why be normal.. when at the end of the day you’re still yourself anyway. hmmmMm. Ü

kathryn, alana and i finally saw deidra’s mural at the thai restaurant, pam’s place. it was originally rosalynn’s thai right on lincoln, but they moved closer to venice. as deidra would put it, it was rather “spiffy”! good food, and an awesome mural of course ;) deidra rocks!

finished putting up more pictures.. and trying to resolve issues with the name servers and stuff. we’ll see what happens over the next few days. i’m starting to get the hang of all this tech stuff going on. pretty funky!

happy cesar chavez weekend!

had a barbecue at my house on sunday. i bought the meat 2am the night before, and while i was in bed at 3, i remembered to heat the pool. of course i couldn’t fall asleep with that troubling me, so i wokeup at 8am, turned up the heater and cleaned the pool a little bit. ah! the weather was just amazingly perfect!

thanks for everyone who went, i had tons of fun.. although we did run out of food, it was still good stuff! and now i’m back in school and back to projects and back to heartaches. guess you can’t have your steak and eat it too.

i feel like the same guy i was in high school right now. its 234am, i’m in the middle of creating this outline for a presentation next week.. an outline i should’ve done two days ago, and my group probably thinks i’m such a slacker (which i am), and i didn’t even show up for class today because i declared it a lovine holiday and slept in for the morning. agh.

and other things are occupying my mind, of course everyone in my apartment is having the same trouble.. me, jeremy, JJ, tom.. everyone except for nick i guess. what can we say, he just has lots of hawaiian hair growing on his back. heheheh.

i’m at a loss right now. i feel this certain way, but i feel like i don’t have a grip on the situation, and i can’t detach myself from it so easily as i would want… assuming that i wanted to detach myself in the first place. this shit always happens to me. always.

right now i really like LMU! just came back from the senior shindig at the birdsnest and its tons of fun, especially when its on campus which is weird and they had dollar drinks.. i had my share of heineys :) too bad i have all this shit to take care of this week, projects galore.. but LMU is turning into a really chill school!!! woooo!! i wish i had a couple of more years!! i love this!!! and i’m baking cookies, no one visits my site so its your loss. you could’ve had cookies tonight. :) walnut and chocolate chip, how can you go wrong?!?!?!?!

i haven’t been getting a lot of sleep. of course i’m smothered by all these group meetings and stuff that i need to wakeup earlier than my classes and i can’t even nap during the day. i used to live for catnaps in o’malley, but i guess the days of being awake at night and sleeping in the afternoon are days gone by. now its just days when i’m perpetually awake. well, i try to be. baahh.

meetings here, meetings there. projects here, projects there. here, there, frikkin’ everywhere.

its been a wild wild weekend. saturday night was kelly’s shindig, there were more than 30 kids packed in their apartment at one point i think. of course the RAs came and regulated but we all tried to be good and have “indoor voices.” after awhile, i just started to take shots of skyy vodka, and everything is a blur from there. that’s me in a state of blur.

this morning was st. patty’s, headed out to brennans at 6am to drink! its probably the earliest beer i’ve ever had. :) let’s see if there’s anything else going on tomorrow. cheers to that! :)