The cashier was finishing up with a customer as I opened the door of the gas station mini-mart. “Can you turn on the air for me?”, as he gave the lady her change. “I can’t. I don’t have a remote to turn it on.”. What a liar, I thought to myself, and hung around till the lady left so I can pump some air into the soft tires of the ’79 bus. “What about some tokens for the machine?”, but “None” was the reply. Lie. So I look him straight in the eye and tell him “It’s California law that your gas station needs to provide free air to paying customers.”

Anyway, he confirms that I had indeed just pumped some gas on station 4, and hands me two tokens. That’s right, beeyatch! So I smugly walk over to the air/water station, plunk in the change, and the machine whirs happily.

HEY 1979!
Vanessa’s Ass.

I plug the hose into the stem valve… and nothing happens. It’s broken.


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