i had a complete physical done today. funny! so i was lying on the table, cords dangling all around me on tabs placed all over my chest for the ECG (electrocardiogram). i’m busy daydreaming, when the machine beside me starts churning out the results on paper. from a side view, i see the beats of my heart graphed on charts, and then slowly, some text starts to appear…
** B O R D E R L I N E A B N O R M A L **
and i’m like.. wait a minute.. what! the assistant just throws me a little smirk, and says oh don’t worry, that’s not final… uh, yeah lady. i was kinda excited, actually. i grabbed the report off the machine, and the summary reads: “borderline abnormal. possible hypercalcemia.” what in hell’s name is that?! do i have a hole in my heart that only jesus can heal? is my right ventricle flapping all over, like a meth addict in withdrawal? am i a small boy with an oversized heart bursting with goodness? okay i’ll stop. anyway, googling it when i got back home didn’t turn up anything serious and it’s probably just a fluke in the program. i’ll find out results next week, it’s nothing to be worried about since that report was machine generated without analysis.
and i’m pretty borderline abnormal anyway, i didn’t need an ECG to tell me that. as long as my heart is still beating, i’ll be fine :) and boy, does it beat!