start to finish. i was halfway towards work when i realized my laptop was hostage in the trunk of the other car. so there goes 45 minutes down the drain, spent maneuvering back against the dolldrums of early morning rush hour. well, it's just another day.

long hours at the hamster wheel mean struggling in between bouts of consciousness to make sense of several parallel dimensions that are supposed to co-exist. the job, me, the world outside. i don't know if its the suspended state of mind, but everything seems to blend together into a massive jumble, but i can sense the individual components that outline the mush. everything blends together but is severely distinct at the same time. terribly confusing. need. to. stop. wheel.

my lips turned blue at the roda tonight, cos i wasn't able to get dinner. but i kept on going, because that's the only thing i have left inside of me. it's all heart.