i feel like there’s something wrong. these recurring moments of wanting a vacation from my life are becoming too frequent. maybe its the blue light creeping through the shutters reminding me its early daylight outside. maybe its the half-baked resume thats sleeping idlly on my laptop. maybe its the room in shambles, or the fact that i can’t write a decent song nor sing for shit. maybe they’re reasons unknown.
i feel like i haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a long time. i’m guessing it trancends physical exhaustion, and has something to do with my general unpacified want for something to fire me up. i have these goals in mind, but therein lies the problem, that they’re only in my mind gathering dust. as for my hands, they clickety clack wildy on the keyboard typing comical nonsense and what not. i play the guitar, but it all starts to sound the same the longer i keep trying. everything starts to condense into one imperceptible haze, the longer i let the silence of my life run through. everything starts to.. disappear.
i need something, someone, to inspire me. can i find it inside? can i find it outside? … can i find it at all?