sometimes i wonder if EG ever knew that i liked her. the last time that we bounced off a few ideas and shared a few (nerve wrecking) minutes, i would’ve known that i liked her if i were in her shoes. not because i said anything in particular, but with just.. the moment. you know? there was something in that moment. or she would’ve seen it either in my bug eyes or incoherent rambling ons.
talking to kate about KF made me remember how it felt to have a swarming horde of butterflies invade my gut whilst leaving the better judgement of me in a dizzy. wonderful times, they don’t happen to me as much as they used to.
and so now, the drama of having a crush is now passed on to kate ‘kilabot ng masa’ villaseñor. what didn’t happen between me and EG, we all pray to the high heavens that kate will have wrapped around her finger. :”>
here’s a letter i wrote myself nov 28 2002 before leaving for germany. i was supposed to read it two months after writing it, after mailing it to myself back in LA. i found it while cleaning my room, and very befitting considering how my friends inspire me. :)
ich haiße lovine. ich bin nach bonn geblieben. as each day draws closer towards departure, the less i could care about the future; each moment seems to gain more importance, like the final grains of sand dancing in an hourglass. these are the moments when you know your life is in your hands, but then again it is also about knowing that all moments are yours. no matter where you are, or even when you are, everything is still yours. because your life is, and everything just follows. always remember to live the moment, live your moment, and do what you have to do, because that is the only way that dreams become true. i am who you were two months ago, and who you are now will be what i am to you for future moments. does that make sense? it will. anyway you are one lucky bitch. aurora borealis, tromso, vatican and the pope, kölsch, just look at the pics. live life.. we are one, and we’ve all we’ve got.
first things, first! happy birthday, cheeky mon!! through thick and thin, good and bad, i may always make fun of your cheeky cheeks but rest assured i do it because i love you. and you know it, brah :)
instead of getting my act together to enforce peace, order and harmony in my room, i chose to concoct weird crap like jazz from mars instead (links are italicized from now on). great..
and now i have this monstrous pimple sitting pretty on my cheek. huway? huuuwaaayy!
i dismantled my bidet assembly to install a new pipe that would split the water line in two, for the water tank and the bidet. i suspected that the old pipe (which was designed for the shower) was the cause of leakage, so excitedly, i put on my plumber face and set to work. now that all the fittings are in place, i find out that the gasket of my bidet hose is crumbled and worn out. i need to find a new hose, and i can’t sit still.
sigh. in the process of cleaning up my transfer back to tarzana, everything is a horrid mess. and as much as i would like to poop right now, i’m feeling crappy about my bidet and how everything’s a mess. yes. :c
hello, new york! i think i love you. :”>
change your AM’s to PM’s and vice versa. nothing less than having your time zone turned upside down, to push you off your rocker! and when you thought things were getting weird, time gives you a little one-two and reminds you that the world still goes round.
attended my buddy’s wedding this morning. a simple yet one of the sweetest weddings i’ve seen! not that i’ve been to many, but this was one for the books. i guess its different when you’ve known someone for so long, and seeing them happy becomes transcendental to your own testament of happiness. mr and mrs espiritu, here’s to a great new beginning! have lots of children, i want to be a godfather!
nothing beats going outside the safety of your home, to find a dozen riot police in full battle gear. even better hearing about the tear gas reaching the gates of our house. too bad i wasn’t home to get peppered with those pesky FPJ supporters. lovely! i’ll miss you, manila :)
i’m off to the east coast to attend a friend’s wedding. as soon as i pack to leave, i unpack, and pack again. i’m sure one hell of a packer.. anyway, i smell more fun times up ahead! keep in touch friends, don’t be a stranger!
if there’s something that i know, its this: my friends are PIMP. you guys are hot shit. each one of you! i love all of you! not only because of tonight, but because of all the moments that we share. sorry, mejo senti, pero ganiyan talaga. you guys are awesome :)
everyone is waiting for that special moment, but sometimes it may not come.. because you were too afraid to reach out and touch it.
it’s all yours my friend: nothing.. or everything. :)
had dinner with the gorgeous girls of the 18th. how lucky can someone really be to meet all these great people? i’m counting my blessings. man, i’m tired. i can’t think.
last night i watched my last gig of barbie’s cradle. i wrote them a letter and it came out pretty sentimental. had a part that was thanking them for giving us amazing music, reminding me the beauty of simply being alive to experience it. individually potent, collectively breathtaking. i really want to play in a band. its so.. spiritual. i’m pooped.
there’s someone familiar in today’s business section of the philippine star. hahaha!
i feel like i’m taking a crash course on brokering. i spend the mornings at the trading floor watching market activity (or lack of it, at times) while my afternoons are spent at the office devouring reading material. this afternoon i took down notes on the difference between fundamental versus technical analysis of stocks. what kind of tickles me is knowing that i can actually learn this on my own, if i just sat down and read about it.. which is exactly what i did today. all i really need to do, is put myself in a situation where i actually allow myself to learn. i’d like to call it ‘situational schooling’. so far so good. i’m feeling really lucky, and i’m taking everything in.
you know its all good when you get home at 610am.
haiku: hay naku.
my head is thumping,
won’t you get out of my head?
cheesy: isn’t funny how you feel so empty when you have so much? because you can’t find the person to share it with.. sigh.
in more upbeat news, i sat in the makati stock exchange today. cool beans man, trading is pretty straightforward. i feel really lucky, it makes me feel like an undergraduate sponge. its weird seeing all the numbers rambling on the screen, knowing that its real money being exchanged, each transaction amounting to thousands and thousands of pesos. even weirded when you consider the reality of it; political jitters such as delays in canvassing votes and other national security issue frou frous really do have a direct impact on the market. its not just a little blurb you read on the news, its real news stopping real money from being invested in the philippine markets. one more week at the trading floor.. really curious whats gonna happen, what i’m going to learn.
an old boss called me awhile ago. “aalis ka pa ba? may makakapag pigil ba sa iyo?”.. :) there are so many things i want to do.. . if they only knew.
i’m coming down with a pretty nasty cold. hope i get better in time for FETE dela musique! i’m ready to rock out woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!