los angeles is home to the worst traffic i will ever encounter in my short life. not only because of the gridlock that commands a big chunk of the useful day, but because of the pricks and assholes that populate it.
so i’m stuck in 101 traffic, and this asshat starts honking from behind me like a true asshole. i calmly glance over the rear view to see what his problem is, and shrug my shoulder – there’s a three or four car space in front of me while the rest of traffic is inching forward. we ain’t going anywhere. now the middle aged retard is my ass, trying to cut through and still leaning on his horn. so naturally, i give him the courtesy finger for a couple of seconds, before speeding up to close the gap in front of me. LA traffic is a joke, i chuckle on the phone to my mexican friend rudy lopez (who has an uncanny semblance to pedro of napoleon dynamite fame).
when a lane opens up to the side, the retard scrambles over, rolls down his window and hollers “fuck you!”. what? what the hell is your problem. so i scoot over to his lane, get on his ass, and stick my finger out the window. i follow him to exit, he turns left and i turn left, with me still flipping him off because he’s a retard. the side streets are still gnarled with traffic, as he rolls down his window and starts yakking “fuck you! fuck you!” again. “what the hell is your problem?!” “you messed me up! fuck you!” whatever man. so i scream back “fuck you, you fat fuck! you’re an old fag!” as the idiot rolls up his window. he tries to make a left on a non discreet corner to get rid of me i presume, and so i jump over to his other side, slow down and give him a nice fat finger (but not as fat as he is) while he screams another FU.
settle down, LA. on a better day, i would’ve thrown change at your kia.