just for you, i can die a thousand deaths, and still be alive.. just so i can die a thousand deaths all over again.
Monthly Archives: February 2005
finally! it’s the weekend! there are so many things i want to do, in fact, too many things that it just ends up overwhelming me and i sit here befuddled. pffft.
a few weeks ago i boarded a train and took a lot of pictures. took me a while to get them up and running, but here are a few. let’s board the space seattle!
in my head scatter long silent nights where nothing exists aside from your company, listening to the soothing rhythm of your heartbeat against the cavity of my chest. in that moment, the beats might as well have been my own. time will stand still while the old vinyl record spins carelessly in a round dance. scratch… hiss… pop.
happy birthday, erika! i love you! :)
i’d write lots and lots of cheesy sentimental stuff about how you’d make me cry before i would leave back to the states, or how i’d fly across the pacific ocean in the middle of the school year just to be your 18th rose, or how we’d talk nonsense hogwash until the wee hours of the morning. or how we’d get drunk after playing stupid paper-rock-scissors and break your shoe. or.. or.. a multitude of other things that defy all relics of time and space, leaving me with an immense feeling of gratitude that you are who you are, and all that cheesy stuff. but it would be embarassing if i said all that, wouldn’t it? but the funny thing is, i don’t really mind because it’s true and a half.
i miss you. a lot. :) happy birthday!
i’m addicted to my life. experiences of different shapes and sizes, intravenously injected, visually stimulated, organically produced. inside, outside, upside down.
not even the momentary pains of solitude can get me down because knowing that strength lies in the patience of waiting for all the right moments, will bring forth the blossoms of the good karma. and if the right moments never come, i manage to have fun anyway. in a bad space, a good space, or with no space at all. life goes on.
so many good things yet to discover, and all it takes is to slow down and look at a flower, or run fast and feel the wind on your face. get lost forever in a girl’s smile, or find yourself in your art. the papers can remain in the suitcases, the banks can churn interest rates in their machines. but at the end of the day, the darkness when you close your eyes to sleep is not really the absence of light, but a blank slate to draw your dreams on. anywhere you go, there you are.
i spent the weekend up at sanfo with kathlyn and mikkel, where we successfully crossed lines that have never been known to exist before. being with people you love, a brother and sister that you’ve grown up with, is just a wonderful mix of good vibes.
friendships keep your feet on the ground, but allow you to bend and circumnavigate the perils of worldy ills. sometimes, the only thing that’s better than a cold pilsner urquell or a stella artois after a harrowing day of living through the numbing routines in life, is being able to share it with your best friends. especially when you know that your friendship will transcend all known, and unknown dimensions. :)
aw shit, valentine’s is coming up.
wait, who am i kidding… like it really matters anyway. ;)
there’s this sport i’ve been trying for the past few months, that i’m starting to really like. slowly, i feel like i’m coming back into shape.. almost when i was before, waaay back in sophomore year of HS. everytime i drive back from the ‘house of champions’ in van nuys, i feel really different. i feel electric, and on top of the world. haven’t really enjoyed anything this much, that makes me coming back.
other senseless trivia: i enjoy pseudo skateboarding outside my house to get letters in the mailbox. work has been going well, i’m meeting more people in the firm and slowly, slowly, acclimating to the position of organizational sell-out. prop the collars up yo! time to pick out the contributions on my 401k, IRA, and possibly look into reviewing for the GMATs. is my life back on track? yikes.
i don’t know where to start before i start gushing about seattle. so i guess i won’t write about it, to preseve the sanctity of the experience. and my mind is awash with all the small tasks i need to accomplish, one of them having to revamp the current photo gallery i have. i like a few pictures that i took, not distinctly seattle, but pictures nonetheless.
its a funny feeling when you have all these small stories you want to share, but in truth, no one will really understand the meaning of it all. unless you’re with a bunch of good friends who are piss drunk as you are and things magically seem to make more sense. but with the way things are going, i might have to throw in the towel and start anew while i can. and so seattle was sort of a last hurrah before the gears start churning again. wait, my last hurrah must’ve been being clocked doing 105mph by the CHP, but that’s another story. i hope i’m not in trouble, but i have a sinking feeling that i am.
i start work in a couple of hours, with a risk consulting firm. i bought new yellow onitsuka tigers and a sector 9 long board. and as a final rebellion for being unable to purchase U2 tix, i got coachella instead. you can hate me now. :)
i think today’s sunrise will bring about new beginnings. but i’ll most probably sleep on it.
i am in love with seattle. this trip was really great, flush with the token ups and downs along the way. although i always come home mangled and filthy, i stand a little bit wiser from meeting new people and reconnecting with the old. so many things to say. quite interesting how it’s always a mystery when that next card is drawn from the deck.