My head is a mess! Only Red Bull is keeping me sane. I can function, but my thoughts are going all over the place. Thinking of everything, but accomplishing nothing! So I’ll leave the hamster wheel in its right place, and taking my bike out again for a breather.
This is best performance I’ve had, in terms of jet lag. I still get bouts of sleepishness at around 4pm, but again, nothing a little silver can of RB can’t fix. It usually takes me a week to recover, with severe relapses within a couple of days into the mix. Meaning falling asleep at 3pm and waking up at midnight. Pwned! Knock on wood.
There’s no pretending, only what is. And what you take from it is all that you deserve, because it’s true – what you reap is what you sow. And to a degree you’re dealt with cards you may have no control over, your game plan is yours. Much is expected from whom much was given, but don’t fall into the mistake of trying to prove yourself to anyone. This is your show, these are your blessings, this, is it. You can choose wisely, you may choose poorly, but right and wrong may be all of subjective. Only you can decide. After all, that’s the least you can do, right? Own your decisions. Deny nothing. Embrace your life because it’s all you have. Everything else is a gamble whatever comes your way. Except what’s yours. What you own is never a function of chance. Don’t accept anything for less than the truth. Because all of it, is yours.
Your life is an illusion you can’t fake, sort of like pretending but knowing the truth. Yes?
Never validate yourself through other people, if only because, you might forget that what you believe in is worth its salt, that you may forget the head on your shoulders. Never lose respect for what you feel, because others may never feel the same.
Sleepy eyes rest on a tired smile
Trying to get out of the dizzying tumble
of a hamster wheel that answers no questions
Just an endless pitter patter
of stuff to do
Dues to pay
Things to consider
but it’s really up to you,
to decide what to do.
I’m sleepy. Hopping on a plane soon, for a slew of work and other trips. Need to finish packing. I’ll be doing six point-to-point legs on this trip. Sigh.
Our days are fickle and fleeting. Or they can also last forever. Just like the smallest of decisions we choose. Can take less than a heartbeat to determine, or a lifetime to decide. Yet all pass within time’s constant pace. All inside our minds. Or even possibly outside of it.
The world is busy with its own rhythm. Easy to get lost in the distractions of the daily scramble to get on top of your predefined space, any space, that you can call your own. Everyone tries to call their shots on you. Never listen. People can judge you, but choose your own path. Get out of your own bubble. Do what you feel like doing. Ride at your own pace. Even if the only thing that makes the truth real, is your belief in it.
If I won the lottery, I’d get:
- LEED certified prefab house / Mid-century modern Eichler
- Customized hybrid Volkswagen 1979 Type II Transporter
- Concourse restoration 1959 Porsche 356A
- A shitload of records in vinyl
- A harem of Maltese bitchez for Nickel the boy wonder
The hamster wheel won’t turn unless you walk. And it only gets faster when you start running!
I like the beauty of randomness –
like when you don’t peer into the viewfinder
but click anyway
because you know the beautiful picture is
what you’re not looking at.
Fa fa fa, fa fa fa fa, fa.
I hardly write, because inspiring moments are far and seldom in between. And when they do appear, they tend to come and go, without any perceptible lasting impression. Or so we think.
I guess that is exactly what makes life exciting – the randomness of chance, and the beauty in which any given moment presents itself to us. How we may shrug off some things, or our sudden “aha!” moments when the unraveling of events lead to our perceived understanding of “life”, and all the varying gray areas in between. What we bring out of our own conclusions, a lot of times become bigger than the actual events themselves.
I left my house at around 0830 to catch the last wave of the winter season at Big Bear with Wacky Abad-Santos. As I turn outside the gate, I’m greeted by a flock of blinky squad cars and yellow police tape around the entire lane going downhill. Police are interviewing a couple of bystanders standing around a parked Lexus SUV, there is some random debris on the road, and in front of the car is a go cart.
Someone got killed again outside our community this morning.
Apparently, there are (illegal) soapbox races down my hill every second Sunday of the month, and I never even knew about it. After a little bit of googling, I came across a quote worth noting on their group’s forum. Sometimes, it may be applicable to a lot of other things in our lives as well:
Never put a question mark, where God has put a period.
Manila is a circus.
Each man to his own, in his plight to run faster in his chosen hamster wheel, to excel at his own profession. Whether his trade may be architecture, banking, the arts, meaningless shenanigans, or dabbling in the compromise of emotions, we all are here to fight the good fight, and stand up for whatever it may be that eventually make us who we really are.
Well the world continues to move in spite of what you think, or how you react, to the things that it shoves down your throat, to the things that you count your blessings for. And you can convince yourself of all the worries you’d like to engage in, or all the blessings that you can possibly count. And you can accept things for what they are, or for what they’re not. But at the end of it all, they are, as how they are, no matter what you think of it, but all at the same time, depending on what you think of it. And in between those two gray lines of acceptance and the truth, lie everything you need to understand what really is.
What’s interesting are the small nuances of existing. All of these small elements that make up who you are, i.e.: cultural identity, gender roles, familial ties, notable life experiences… all of which inevitably shape who you are, what you think, what flavor you choose. And what’s wonderful is meeting and/or keeping in touch with old friends who have somehow shared the same experiences or have managed to choose their own path. We’ve come a long way, but the best thing is knowing that we’ll go even further.
$4 24-hour breakfast buffets are the shit. Seriously, what more do you need, aside from finding the perfect sidekick for all seasons? Refer to exhibit 1a. Life is good. And however it may turn out, remember that it’s always your fault.
I’m back in one piece. Albeit, in San Francisco.
The best adventures that my life offers have been those planned in short notice, or best, the ones that are never planned at all. There remains an irresistible urge to beckon after a calling, a special kind of calling, that can only be found deep within yourself. The rest of the world may think you are crazy, some smirk in bemusement, whilst others shake their heads in worry. Yet at the end of the day, your life is only yours to live and to experience, and I feel that we owe it to ourselves to take that first step and turn wonder and curiosity into something more tangible. Something that you own. And the sense of accomplishment means more than simply reaching your destination, but being able to recount the validity of your experience by really understanding the journey, and each step that you took in order to reach where you are.
A silly red scooter, is only silly when you laugh at it from the other side. And not when you experience what it’s really like to get from point A, to point B.
More descriptive updates and pictures to follow. :)