Hello, Lovine.com

I'm hoping that the solidity of my opinion is not a function of stubbornness and age, but rather of thought out convictions that are a result of critical thinking, and holding myself up to standards a step further than what is simply convenient. For it is easy to act in the mold that pleases other people - but to realise at the end of the day that disconnect between what your heart says and what strangers in the world want you to believe in, is unforgivable. Although I recently read a quote in the New Yorker (really love that publication, BTW), asking if you would rather be right, or would you rather be happy. The latter at a glance would seem like an invitation that no opinion is better than a dissenting one, but I'm guessing the point is to find that middle ground where you can argue and justify your beliefs, without being a bitch about it. Barry once asked, Can we disagree without being disagreeable?

I wish the world were as simple as when I was six, and as explainable when I was sixteen. As each decade adds another layer of things to think about, I can't help but realise that the questions are more important, than the answers we desperately seek.

I know that I need to pay more dues to assuage my fears that all which hold meaning to me are beyond my horizon. Sort of like being fueled by the fantasy of what tomorrow brings, or how art is better seen through an f/1.2 lens, or how a 4WD can take me far away into the desert rocks and snow capped mountains. There may be some truth to the matter that spending (smartly) on gear can take you places, and that there is no use in making money if you're not enjoying it. However, my free time is spent fattening my ass in front of a computer instead of actually busting an ankle running the walk. Does the picture exist, if it is never taken? And what can be really shared of that imprisoned in your mind? I need to get out of this rut, and it's a horrible feeling to be needlessly stuck in the world's pecking order. Guess what, there really is no such thing as life insurance. Everyday is a gift to take apart, get lost, and find your way back all over again.

Do it once, do it right.

Unfortunately, it seems that the snooze button shall never satiate my craving for a five minute but-feels-like-forever intermission from the real world.

Which would be most useful? Slow motion, fast forward, pause or eject? Yet life affords all of these - of course, finding its way into your inconvenience.

Time for bed. Another day closer to the person you'd want to be when you wake up tomorrow.

My time is always late, my dreams are always far fetched. My feet are always itchy, my needs are never met. My world continuously spins, like seconds on a clock. My life is never here nor there, just like my lost socks.

I miss writing with careless abandon, like the pseudo stream of thoughts that I'd occasionally fart. I'm not sure if the obvious transition away from verbal diarrhea towards more half-assed philosophies of the moment with the requisite photo op is doing me any good. I kind of like the cleaner slate that goes along with the layout, but there is something missing from where I come from as compared to years past. Granted I hardly sit down and think about what I want to write anymore, but I am also starting to think that the responsibilities and stress of living in this linear world is starting to take me away from the corners of my mind where my curious cat is fed.

This is, my empty space. All who wander are not lost, and not all that are lost want to be found.

I asked Kat to remind me to appreciate things for what they are, and to smile. No matter what the world gives... and when it decides to take it away.

There must be some common denominator that allows you to end up where you are, to believe in what you believe in. At the end of the day, how different are we really, from each other? And so I always make it a point to understand where each person comes from, what someone has to say. That's one of the reasons why I enjoy listening to right wing conservative AM radio, because it gives better validation to understanding what you believe in when you hear something that you don't necessarily agree with. Fortunately, the world provides you a myriad of different answers, which may not even address the questions to begin with. The best part is that the world probably doesn't even care, as you're left to fend for your own beliefs, and struggle to find your own place.

Beer is good, but friendship is better. But what's best, is having the good and the better all at the same time.

Keep steadfast in the battles you choose to fight. Think about the words you choose to say, more so on the actions you choose to take. Make up your mind, but realise that all that glitters is not gold, that trying to clear the smoke can be a conduit for a firestorm. Decide who'll be the fool by listening, and then you'll understand. What the heart speaks, and the mind understands, are sometimes different languages across changing tides of the water. Sometimes, the prize has already been won even before the games have started. Bring it all back down, and take it all out. This is all your one shot at life. Make it count - it's the least the each of us can do.

Our pride is a cross that we choose to carry. The only thing that we own, are our relationships with each other. And the only thing that other bitchez and douche bags in the world cannot take away from you, is your happiness.

My favorite part after getting lost in the noise, is the longing for silence.

You are complete, when you have nothing.

The easiest path to success is to love what you do. Not because you are using it as a means to get somewhere, but because you genuinely love it for what it is. And once you start pushing yourself further along those hard pressed lines, the easier it will be the next time you try to go through the same path. The difference is made when you choose to keep fighting, when the rest of the world has given up on it (or even, on you). So keep those wide eyes open, keep your fires aflame. All the time you've spent, will always be yours.

Act small, dream big. All the other castles in the sky that aren't your own, are also made of the sand between your toes.

In every day, lies a reason to look for happiness. To make sense of chaos, to accept the world without surrender, to believe without compromise, to let your mind wander...

They said that all good things must come to an end. Not so sure about that one. The real good things in life never end, because you never stop finding them. It's a dusty and uphill battle, but that's what makes it all the more worthwhile.

I find that my wheels turn faster in the dead of night. I had the (mis) fortune of realizing this back in my sophomore year of high school, where I learned to appreciate the gifts of productivity that total silence offered. The kind of quiet that the sandman offered was some sort of gateway drug. It was something that you can't bargain for during the day, where distractions were endemic even if you tried your best to avoid them. For me, at least. Instead of fighting a losing battle, I took it in stride to have the sleeping world work for me, and not against me.

And so I found myself grinding away the late hours where I could isolate myself from the rest of the world's clatter. When I wake up in the morning to forcefully assimilate myself in society's morning driven 8-hour rat race ethic, I am rewarded with poofy eyebags, a dazed disposition, and a perennially effed up body clock.

Time is never really linear. At the end of the day, aren't our perceptions of it a tad bit more important than the truth it supposedly belongs to?

Life is an illusion that you choose to accept. Think about it. :)

Two days in Manila, and having lots of fun so far. Mostly from animated conversations over a good cold brew of San Miguel. It's a lot better now that my friends have started to branch out and pursue the paths they've chosen to live. It becomes cathartic to both realize and understand the reasons behind their beliefs, the tenets of their faith, the growth of our collective wisdom. And good conversation comes from differing opinions stemming from the same collective input and generalized experience of growing up in a conservative Church influenced third world.

I really enjoy listening to what makes people tick. What it would be like on your 'island'. I can't imagine not caring about issues of gay marriage, abortion, legalization of psychoactive substances that are incidentally less dangerous than alcohol, decriminalization of prostitution, torture, tax and spending, healthcare and education. Especially since a quarter of your paycheck (mine, at least) goes back to the state and the services it provides.

I don't want to have no opinion. It's easy to gloss over issues when you have no vested interest or are not directly affected by them. But without understanding what's happening around you, there's no way to understand anything at all.

I need to know the world, in order to understand myself. I need to know myself, in order to understand the world.