I’m not quite sure what to make of those three guys in the local McDonald’s a few nights ago. There was a lot of boorish slurring at excessive volume about a stubborn defiance against sin as a social construct, against the ironic shame of sexuality in an increasingly perverse society. One of them had a
horrible not-quite-there-yet avant-garde haircut. Real men know that swagger doesn’t come from the store in a bottle of hair product.
The world is a mysterious place sometimes.
There has been some serious negligence in sitting down and getting my thoughts in order. Several wonderful things are still unfolding across everyone’s lives, whether or not we choose to acknowledge them. This space still remains my place of meditation, and my avoidance of sitting down to hash it all out does not signify the lack of anything interesting to ponder on.
I love balls.
I’m now in the lounge of America’s Armpit (LAX), en route to another Manila-Guam debacle. With a steady supply of beer and late work nights on the horizon, perhaps we’ll come across some new insights and better perspectives on how to make sure 2012 goes down in history as the year that we grab our balls and actually do something with them. Fuck chivalry, no one gets out of life alive. Each day we aspire to to be the best person we can be, is a day spent conquering the world.
Where are we going?
There are times in your life when you wait for something to happen, before you choose to act. You wait for the confidence to envelop your doubts, you wait for the mental calm to assuage your fears. The gut feel, the whisper in your head, the incessant beating of your heart. Some wait for a short time, others wait forever.
Break out of your molds, and leave the past behind. Find yourself.
October is here. And so is now.
There’s a lot to be done in the next few weeks, and I’ve been out of the loop in synthesizing my spiels to further cloud my perceptions of order and chaos.
Like everyone else, I always look forward to the silent moments of reflection, away from the noise of hustling through shit that needed to get done yesterday. I’m not sure if I’m subconsciously piling more onto my plate of expectations, because it significantly increases the appeal of being able to look at (lofty) goals from far away and say: I survived, or I gave it my best and I ain’t nothing less, or eff it’s not that important to my life. The goal is to come out of it the wiser man.
Have you ever ridden anything on two wheels? A bicycle? A motorcycle? When you’re on two wheels, you will go exactly where you look. If you stare at the arriving pothole, there your wheels shall cross. To execute a beautiful turn, you need to look out into the curve. When you are unsure, give it some more gas. Look at danger in the eyes. When you are unsure, give it more gas.
The Dalai Lama was asked what surprised him most, he said:
“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
he lives as if he is never going to die,
and then dies having never really lived.”
There is no need to make things complicated. All you need to do, is go with the flow, try to be the best person that you can, and everything else follows.
Set your standards where they belong, and never compromise in what you’ve worked hard to believe in. Try not to sway to the side of stubbornness, and define your limits. To go through that process of understanding yourself, is the least you owe yourself, and would easily be the beacon during times of doubt. The simple philosophies of your life, the religion that you believe in, in the end, will define who you are. When we understand all that’s important in our life, everything else follows. Steady lang.
Take yourself up to the higher standard, which is always one step up from where you currently stand. And spend the time to think about why you believe in certain things, quantify your reasons because you’re worth more than a shrug off the shoulder. Own up to the decisions you make in your life, and offer no excuses for your shortcomings precisely because you acknowledge them as such. Belief should never be predicated on convenience, and life is too short to weave pretension as fact.
To whom it may concern, the letter can only be addressed to yourself. Dr. Seuss is a genius ahead of his time. “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
To whom, it may concern. To whom.
As the final months of my 20’s draw to a close, the greatest revelations of my decade have decidedly turned towards the grace and tempered benevolence of nature. And although it is far easier to selfishly believe that the world revolves around yourself (which is true to an extent), I increasingly discover my own (ir)relevance outside the self perpetuating wheel of the modern world. F the system and everything else that tells you who you should be. The real world is not found in the jealousy of material goods and avarice. Listen instead to the winds of the desert, the rain of the forest, and believe in the whispers of your own heart.
Desert Dog expects you to know better than what you think you already know right now. Go out, and discover.
When tomorrow comes, will we look back at yesterday and be proud?
In the beginning we have nothing. And when it ends, we leave everything behind.
Dance to Vinyl. Then you’ll know what it’s like to feel alive.
Click for the big version.
Thank you for the generous blessings of friendship, family, and the continuous opportunity to make ourselves the best person we could be. That we may find the strength to persevere in seeking the truths of the world which matter to our lives, and continue to live our days full of love and ball-breaking adventures.
That we may continue to discover the beauty of life in between each beginning, and every end.
My love is a quiet river that runs swiftly underneath my feet. A fountain of strength where I seek solace and shelter in times of weakness, against times when my selfishness is brought up to the surface, only to get pacified by its taciturn tides.
By and large, I’ve lived by myself the past decade, and learned to appreciate the silence of my thoughts and the arresting peace of having no one else rain their drama on my party. However, it continues to amaze me that the powerful tides of solace we seek can also be found outside our own walls of silence.
I realize that the world is a far greater place than we could place ourselves in. That the struggles we choose to keep are ones that are precisely our own, and the world will continue to turn, oblivious of our transgressions and failures. And that one cannot underestimate the simple things in life which allow you to step off from its hypnotic cadence, those moments of space and humanity that require nothing outside of themselves to be beautiful.
A kiss on the cheek. A hug a few seconds longer than expected. A cloudless sky. Beautiful music. The sun. One doesn’t need to climb the highest of mountains nor understand the impossibility of life – sometimes all there is to do is sit still, and let the world turn. The meaning will make itself known, when you allow yourself to listen to the delicate rhythms of the world.
All at once – yesterday, today and tomorrow. Live, and love forever.
Love really is the binding force that enables the world to make sense, even if love itself occasionally never does.
This space is my bleeding ground, where I allow myself to put my guard down and write what matters to me. Albeit sometimes, in a manner of cryptic tones that no one is designed to understand except for myself. Sometimes I like writing about the dreams I wish I could fulfill, about fires I wish I could pursue without the clouds of judgment. How sometimes you should just jump out and kick life by the butt. It is a neverending journey of trying to figure out what it means to be who I am, and it will never get old.
I always forget how awesome Manila sunsets could be. The wonderful thing is that you can remind yourself of beautiful things everyday. All you need to do, is sit still, and be quiet. Even for a little while. That all which is beautiful may hopefully last a lifetime.
Because at the end of it all, it doesn’t matter what you did, but what you felt. At the end of the day, you have to do what your heart says what’s important. Because if you shut out all the noise that’s tying to disrupt what’s happening in the beat of your heart, then you would understand that it is the least you could do because it’s what you deserve. To know what it means to be alive, to understand what your heart says it wants, and to know the difference, to know that the hardest thing you could do is to be alive. To do it. Is all what matters. To live. To love. To live.